How Cold Is It?

1. We had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues!

2. Hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!

3. Roosters were rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!

4. When I dialed 911, a recorded message said to phone back in the Spring!

5. The optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new paid of eyeglasses!

6. Kids were using a new excuse to stay up late: "But Mom, my pj's haven't thawed out yet!"

7. Pickpockets were sticking their hands in strangers pockets just to keep them warm!

8. The squirrels in the park were throwing themselves at an electric fence!

9. Grandpa's teeth were chattering - in the glass!

10. The dogs were wearing cats instead of chasing them!

11. Starbucks was serving coffee on a stick!

12. Levi Strauss started manufacturing electric jeans!

13. The rats were bribing the alley cats for a snuggle!

14. We had to carry around hammers and chisels so we could get out of our parkas!

15. When the cows were milked, we got ice cream! Milking the brown cows, we got chocolate ice cream!