WOMEN SHOULDN'T TAKE MEN SHOPPING

+> > WHY
>> > WOMEN SHOULDN'T TAKE MEN SHOPPING
>> >
>> > After I retired, my wife insisted that
>> > I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I > found
>> > shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally > unfortunate,
>> > my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear > wife
>> > received the following letter from the local Target:
>> >
>> > Dear Mrs.
>> > Samuel,
>> >
>> > Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a
>> > commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been
>> > forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your
>> > husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video
>> > surveillance cameras.
>> >
>> > 1.June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly
>> > put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
>> >
>> > 2.July 2: Set
>> > all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
>> > intervals.
>> >
>> > 3.July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading
>> > to the women's restroom.
>> >
>> > 4.July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her
>> > in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'.
>> > This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a
>> > reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted
>> > with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the > company
>> > money.
>> >
>> > 5.August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M
>> > & Ms on layaway.
>> >
>> > 6.August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a
>> > carpeted area.
>> >
>> > 7.August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and
>> > told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring > pillows and
>> > blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children
>> > obliged.
>> >
>> > 8.August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
>> > crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs > were
>> > called.
>> >
>> > 9.September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it
>> > as a mirror while he picked his nose.
>> >
>> > 10.September 10: While handling
>> > guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the > antidepressants
>> > were.
>> >
>> > 11.October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
>> > humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
>> >
>> > 12.October 6: In the auto
>> > department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different
>> > sizes of funnels.
>> >
>> > 13.October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people
>> > browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
>> >
>> > 14.October 21: When an
>> > announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position > and
>> > screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
>> >
>> > And last, but certainly not
>> > least:
>> >
>> > 15.October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
>> > awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in > here.'
>> > One of the clerks passed out.

Oh man!I GOT to try some of these.

LMAOOOOO Those were funny!~! Thanks for sharing!~!