Advice for women

1. Don’t imagine you can change a man unless he’s in diapers.

2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.

3. If they put a man on the moon—they should be able to put them all up there.

4. Never let your man’s mind wander—it’s too little to be out alone.

5. Go for younger men. You might as well, they never mature anyway.

6. Men are all the same—they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.

7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

8. Women don’t make fools of men—most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it.

10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

12. If he asks what sort of books you’re interested in, tell him checkbooks.

13. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.

14. Sadly, all men are created equal.