Minnesota Funny

Jeff Foxworthy on Minnesota :

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by,
You might live in Minnesota.

If you're proud that your state makes the national news 96 nights each year because International Falls is the coldest spot in the nation,
You might live in Minnesota.

If you have ever refused to buy something because it's "too spendy",
You might live in Minnesota.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March,
You might live in Minnesota.

If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there,
You might live in Minnesota.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead,
You might live in Minnesota.

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
You might live in Minnesota.

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches,
You might live in Minnesota.

If you know how to say...Wayzata...Mahtomedi ... Cloquet ...Edina... and Shakopee,
You might live in Minnesota.

If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy,
You might live in Minnesota.

If vacation means going "up north" for the weekend,
You might live in Minnesota.

You measure distance in hours,
You might live in Minnesota.

You know several people, who have hit deer more than once,
You might live in Minnesota.

You often switch from "Heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again,
You might live in Minnesota.

You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching,
You might live in Minnesota.

You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events,
You might live in Minnesota.

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked,
You might live in Minnesota.

You think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and Venison,
You might live in Minnesota.

You carry jumper ca bles in your car, and your girlfriend knows how to use them,
You might live in Minnesota.

There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Mill's Fleet Farm at any given time,
You might live in Minnesota.

You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit,
You might live in Minnesota.

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow,
You might live in Minnesota.

You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and of course, road construction,
You might live in Minnesota.

You can identify a southern or eastern accent,
You might live in Minnesota.

Your idea of creative landscaping is a plastic deer next to your blue spruce,
You might live in Minnesota.

If "Down South" to you means Iowa,
You might live in Minnesota.

You know "a brat" is something you eat,
You might live in Minnesota.

You find -10 degrees "a little chilly",
You might live in Minnesota.

You actually understand these jokes, You DO live in Minnesota.

Good Ones