Coon huntin

Ok guys I thought I would relate a hunting story an ole guy told us last night.
Seems him and his buddy coy ( yup you guessed it both from the south ) went to this little diner and the waitress was a purty lil thing , any way they were a talkin to her about the menue and how there is never any coon on the menues. She told old coy that if he would kill her a coon she would cook it up just for him. Well ole coy looked at john and said feel up to coon hunting tonight ? Of course ole John was up for anything he said. So they got done with their food , got in the truck and started off down the road. Coy told him he knew of the perfect place to get a coon. they were all fat and lazy. So they went down the road to an old park where you could fish or pic nic as they were easing down the hill toward the parking lot where the dumpsters were they spotted him !
John said it was the Biggest dang coon he had ever saw in his entire life ! Said the thing was as big as a dog ! It was sitting there pretty as you please licking on a lollipop that some kid had dropped. He said Coy eased the truck down the hill and said watch this. He eased the truck to where he straddled the coon. John said he ws already a thinkin this aint gonna be good. Just had a feelin in his stomache !
Coy opened his door and climbed outta the truck and looked in the back of the truck for a lug wrench or something to wack it in the head with. Bout that time the coon ran out from under the truck and halfway up the tree!
Coy looked in the truck and all he could come up with was a RUBBER hammer ! John shook his head and thought OH poop here we go !
Ole Coy grabbed that hammer and started stalking that coon ( who by the way still had the sucker in his mouth ) He walked slowly up to that tree and was eye to eye with the coon ! Drew back his hammer and whacked that ole coon on the head ! The coon spit out the sucker Hissed and up the tree he went a lil farther ! Ole coy wasn't gonna be out done So he reared back and THREW that hammer and hit that coon ( when he did that John said oh poop no he didn't He said his mouth dropped open and he was laughing ) Needless to say that ole coon didnt take none too kindly to having a hammer tossed at his head ! Down outta that tree he came snarling and growling ! Said Coy turned tail and was a runnning toward the truck hollering open the door . John said he reached over and locked it.
Said the coon chassed Coy round the truck 2 or 3 times all the while John was a rolling in the truck laughing tears running down his face couldnt catch his breath ! Coy running around the truck screaming let me in !! The Coon ( so fat you wouldnt think it could run ) growling and a chasing after Coy, Finally Coy jumped up on the hood of the truck and John stopped laughing long enough to un lock the truck doors and let him in.
they started up the truck and started backing away and said they looked at that coon who wandered back to the tree and he said I'll be damned if it didn't go right over and pick up that damn sucker and sit there licking and chewing on it again!! Very Happy Very Happy
Almost like Uh huh come on back and I'll whip yer arse again!!!
He said they went back to the restaurant to tell the waitress the story , said everyone was a laughing at ole coy and then one little waitress said you all oughtta be ashamed of yourself molesting a poor lil coon like that !
Coy told her molesting hell ! I almost got ate up ! Then he looks at me and says you know I could have gotten the shot gun out from behind the seat and used it on him Surprised
Ole John says to this day he never lets Coy forget this story ! He has even gone so far as to paint a rubber hammer gold, glue it to a plack and send it to him in the mail to commemorate the day the coon whipped his arse !! Very Happy Very Happy